So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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