you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
