I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
