we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Welp...herpes.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
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so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
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Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
as a side note pls kill me
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