at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
