dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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