just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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