I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
being pregnant is like rehab
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Is Oprah even human
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
