i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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