I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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