my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I woke up under a house in Key West
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