It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Drake has all the answers
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
