Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
