Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
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Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
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I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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