So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I didn't notice because vodka
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
