You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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