I'm going to jail i love you
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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