So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
