So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
