that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize