Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
