I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."