I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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