that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
cat food counts as protein by the way
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.