I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...