WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger