Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.