tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
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the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
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Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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