Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar