You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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