then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
