Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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