Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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