THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
