oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
