Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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