I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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