Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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