I can't watch pbs sober anymore
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
