Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
