dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize