Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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