Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
