Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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