just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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