Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
How's work?
Spinning.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
