This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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