i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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