Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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