i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
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He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
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I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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