Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
