Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
