Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
