if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
