you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
