We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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