i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
