naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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