in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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