the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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