I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
