She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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