i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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