it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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