...so i touched it.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
