Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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