so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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