I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
