My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
