Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
