i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
